dicks          Modell's

 

A lawsuit in New Jersey state court alleges that the chief executive of Modell’s Sporting Goods, Mitch Modell,  misrepresented himself at Dick’s Sporting Goods in order to gather information about its operations, according to the New Jersey Law Journal. We at Comedians at Law were fortunate enough to overhear the conversation culminating in the lawsuit:

 

Dick, Jr.: Welcome to Dick’s! May I help you sir? From the way you’re pulling at your crotch, you look like you’re in the market for a new athletic supporter!

Mitch:  Actually, I am.  I bought my last one at Modell’s and it squeezed me so tight, I was singing like a soprano.

Dick Jr.:  Well, we can’t have that! Let’s go into the dressing room and try this baby on. What do you say?

Mitch:  Thanks but I think my boys and I can handle it ourselves.  Love that customer service, though!

Dick Jr.: Is there anything else I can do for you?

Mitch:  Yes, Dick, there is. Would you mind taking me into the inner vault where you keep all of the information on your on line sales, inventory, distributors and client purchases and make me copies? They’re for my ailing mother. She likes to read.

Dick Jr.:  I don’t see why not!  In my new employee training last week, they told us to always keep the customer satisfied. Our tienda is your tienda!

Mitch:  That’s the spirit, Dick. Your badge says Dick so I assume that’s your name.

Dick Jr.:  It is, sir. My father owns the store.  I come from a long line of Dicks.

Mitch: No doubt!

Dick Jr.: Well, let’s get copies of all of those papers for momma and put that supporter in a  bag. Thank you for shopping at Dick’s, sir, and please come again.

Mitch:  One more thing, Dick. Can you please point me to the mens’s room?

Dick Jr.:  I’m really sorry, sir. That’s for employees only.

doofus

 

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Joan Weisblatt

Joan left the practice of law after thirty years when the comedian inside her could no longer be contained. While in practice, she defended companies in asbestos litigation and hopes that she did not breathe in the trial exhibits. She performs in clubs and at fundraisers throughout New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Before joining Comedians at Law, Joan was named Comedians at Law Idol following a contest in which she successfully begged and pleaded with friends and family members to vote for her. Joan has been featured in the following New Jersey publications: The Star Ledger, The Princeton Packet and The Montgomery Sun.

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One Response to Mine is Bigger

  • Marc Kaye says:

    That was hilarious. You guys should do a re-enactment.
    You know, Mitch Modell was featured on Undercover Boss (he cried and everything) and maybe he just took it a little too far.

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