A lawsuit in New Jersey state court alleges that the chief executive of Modell’s Sporting Goods, Mitch Modell, misrepresented himself at Dick’s Sporting Goods in order to gather information about its operations, according to the New Jersey Law Journal. We at Comedians at Law were fortunate enough to overhear the conversation culminating in the lawsuit:
Dick, Jr.: Welcome to Dick’s! May I help you sir? From the way you’re pulling at your crotch, you look like you’re in the market for a new athletic supporter!
Mitch: Actually, I am. I bought my last one at Modell’s and it squeezed me so tight, I was singing like a soprano.
Dick Jr.: Well, we can’t have that! Let’s go into the dressing room and try this baby on. What do you say?
Mitch: Thanks but I think my boys and I can handle it ourselves. Love that customer service, though!
Dick Jr.: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Mitch: Yes, Dick, there is. Would you mind taking me into the inner vault where you keep all of the information on your on line sales, inventory, distributors and client purchases and make me copies? They’re for my ailing mother. She likes to read.
Dick Jr.: I don’t see why not! In my new employee training last week, they told us to always keep the customer satisfied. Our tienda is your tienda!
Mitch: That’s the spirit, Dick. Your badge says Dick so I assume that’s your name.
Dick Jr.: It is, sir. My father owns the store. I come from a long line of Dicks.
Mitch: No doubt!
Dick Jr.: Well, let’s get copies of all of those papers for momma and put that supporter in a bag. Thank you for shopping at Dick’s, sir, and please come again.
Mitch: One more thing, Dick. Can you please point me to the mens’s room?
Dick Jr.: I’m really sorry, sir. That’s for employees only.
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